On the morning of October 25, Boothbay Register and Wiscasset Newspaper staff members learned of the death of employee Dave McKown, who worked at the paper for more than 40 years.  Dave was discovered by friends at his camp near Machias, a place he visited every October. This is a sad day at the paper. He will be deeply missed. 

Dave wrote his own obituary, as only he could, and we publish it here in his memory.

David L. McKown, an eighth generation native (an endangered species) of the Boothbay Region, passed away October 25, hopefully at home.

He was born in Boothbay Harbor October 11, 1944, and lived his entire life in the region. He never graduated from high school because he wasn’t smart enough.

In 1965 he joined the U.S. Army and served for three years, but nobody cared.

His best times were spent enjoying fishing and heater hunting with his friends. One thing that really bugged him in life was to hear an airplane flying overhead and not see it.

He belonged to a couple of organizations, but who cares. Two of his passions were big-breasted women and Natural Light beer. He didn’t like people from away or tourists. As far as he was concerned, terrorists and tourists were in the same boat, and hopefully it was sinking.

Another thing he didn’t care for was computers, but he did figure out where the word cursor came from.

We don’t know where he was headed, but last week someone saw him down at Grover’s buying a coal shovel, but he don’t need one in heaven.

He wanted to die with his hip boots on, but he didn’t. He died in his sleep with a pair of purple and orange sneakers on – odd ain’t it!

Some people said he was over the hill, but he said it wasn’t so. He couldn’t make it to the top.

He liked to write humorous articles and always wanted to publish a book of humor, but his humor wasn’t worthy of the cost. He did have a fan club and they met regularly in the phone booth on pier one.

Usually folks that work at newspapers end their columns with a –30-, but David only got to –15-.

David and his brother George bought hunting and fishing camp in Washington County, but he couldn’t afford enough gas to get to it.

He also put several lobster traps overboard each summer, but he never baited them.

David worked at the local newspaper too long. He liked the people he worked with so much that he stayed away from them as much as possible.

The casket he will be laying in, if we can get him out of the fetal position before rigor mortis sets in, is in the shape of a lobster body; just throw him in and it closes like a clam shell.

His last request was to take the little pills that he got from Waltz Pharmacy and give them to some homeless person because they evidently didn’t work for him.

There will be no funeral – he hated them. Don’t send flowers – he hated them even more. Keep your money, you’ll need it – he won’t. He leaves behind nothing for nobody, but the body.

David was predeceased by parents Hazel and Frederic C. McKown Sr., sister Marilyn Collins, and brothers Robert and Frederic Jr.

Survivors include sisters Barbara Dewey of Hemet, Calif., Martha McKown of East Boothbay, Laurie J. Morey of Cushing, Joyce Graffam of Thomaston, and Margie Yocum and her husband Bill of the Villages, Fla.  He is also survived by brother George McKown and wife Susan of Thomaston, and several nieces and nephews.

There will be no services. Burial will be at Ocean View Cemetery.

Donations may be sent to Meals on Wheels (c/o Peggy Peters, 82 Oak St., Boothbay Harbor, 04538).

Arrangements are entrusted to Simmons, Harrington & Hall Home & Cremation Service, 975 Wiscasset Road, Boothbay.