Dear Editor:

These are difficult times: a global pandemic, the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression, and a general election pre-condemned as fraudulent by the president of the United States.

To cope with our uncertainty and anxiety, let’s turn to Seinfeld reruns for guidance, especially the episode in which George decides to reverse his bad luck by choosing to do the opposite of what he would normally do. Miraculously, he turns his life around, dating a beautiful woman, getting a job with the Yankees, and moving out of his parents’ home.

Apply this strategy to the state of our nation, which has suffered a four-year run of very bad luck. Donald Trump is the fleshy composite of George Costanza’s pusillanimity and Cosmo Kramer’s impulsive buffoonery. Take everything he has said and tweeted, and assume that the opposite is the case.

Examples: “[Mexican immigrants] are bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime. They’re rapists ... ” Actually, immigrants to the U.S. commit far fewer crimes per capita than U.S. citizens. How could he construct a 1,900-mile wall? “Very easy. I’m a builder.” As of Aug. 7, 2020, five miles of new border wall have been erected. Who will fund this project? “Mexico will pay for this wall.” U.S. taxpayers have been dunned $15 billion so far.

“Global warming is a total, and very expensive, hoax.” Global average temperatures have risen dramatically, especially in the past 35 years; ocean temperatures are increasing; glaciers are receding; and the sea level has risen eight inches in the past century. “We have [the COVID-19 pandemic in the U.S.] totally under control” (1/22/20). Today’s total of American deaths from this virus: 181,741 (8/29/20). “Mail-in voting… will lead to the most corrupt election in our nation’s history!” Let’s request our ballots today. (Don and Melania have already received their mail-in ballots from Palm Beach.)

And finally: “Four more years!” What’s the opposite of four? Negative four? — if only! Zero?

Bill Hammond

Barters Island