Have some eggnog to cure your eyesight!
Thank heavens for my email spam filter. I never would have known that by drinking eggnog I could now go without using my reading glasses! Thank you .... Clyde?
Yes, Clyde is just one of dozens of people and organizations that send me emails each day. Before we installed strong filters on our email system at work to weed out spam, I would have to delete these "wonderful" and "intriguing" emails from my inbox. These emails tout cures for multiple medical problems (ED, cancer, obesity, diabetes, etc.) to promising personal savings (cut your energy costs to $0, your order is ready — even though I've only ordered one thing online in my life), to enriching my love life from the likes of "ladies" known only on a first name basis — Elena, Nata, Lada, Olga, Irina, etc., etc. (we all receive these).
And I love the names connected to related email topics ... Lose weight from Dr. Trim, You have a message from Yulia from Yulia (How many Yulias do you know?), and WARNING: Glasses destroy your eyesight from how to improve eyesight (Probably Clyde again, using an alias!).
Three days before Christmas, I received an email offering some great advice, "The real reason you're ALWAYS tired." I thought might be connected with the one I received just after it, "Personal energy device." Nope.
And some of the names get me chuckling ... Hee Hevey ... Grayce Glade ... Sandra Schaub ... sonal sharma (is that someone who admires e.e. cummings?) ... Lovette Lovan, etc. Notice the alliterative trend here?
And then you get those spam emails from people using the names of people you really know, and they don't end up in the spam folder. I almost open those ... but I have now caught on and just press Delete.
So, here I am, on the last day of 2014 when not much news is happening and I am writing about spam. Can't wait for 2015 to arrive. Maybe I will receive the next great email that will make me feel 20 years younger, someone has left me thousands of dollars in a Swiss bank account, or I won't have to continue my diet: "JUST SPRAY THIS UNDER YOUR TONGUE TO LOSE 400 CALORIES!"
Wow!
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